Up the Establishment

Let’s start by saying that I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a “Patriotic American.”

My “America” is abstract.  It begins and ends with the constitution. The circles and squares of the green, yellow, and purple are fungible with the stars and stripes and red white and blue.  I place no value on the name or the trappings.

No. Value.

I have no allegiance to dirt, nor do I feel any jingoistic attachment to anyone else simply because we were born in proximate patches of dirt.  The flag is a mere symbol.  I don’t say the pledge, get outraged over people not saying it.  I’m loyal to people – not things.  Veterans did something that I respect.  The average schmuck – hasn’t.  I show that respect on Veteran’s day and Memorial day.  Flag day?  Meh.  I don’t even remember the last time I did the 4th of July.  Sometime in the 80’s, I think.

And I certainly have zero loyalty to “My Government.”  If someone asked “What would you call a plague that killed half of Washington?” my response would be “A good start.”  I’d have to BUY a flag to refuse to fly it at half mast in such an event. (Though I do have a Confederate flag.)  The last time I referred to anyone as “President ____________” was Ronaldus Magnus.

America is nothing special any more.  Some places better in a lot of respects, some places worse.

Of course, since the colonization of the world has given me no place to go to, I’m stuck here.  I vote because it affects me.  One of the “worse”were to land on the shores I might help drive them out, I’m not going to crap where I eat, or let my neighbors house burn out of spite lest it catch mine on fire.  OTOH, if I had reason to believe things might improve, I might also sit something like that out.  If the Heathen Chinee suddenly decided to abandon communism, adopt The Constitution in an old school way, and land in California to liberate us, I, for one, would welcome our new Asian overlords.

And this is not to get into an America debate, but to underscore where I am coming from when I say that “What a government says is of little concern to me.”  This is a government which has defined ketchup as a vegetable to tax it.  They are idiots.  Rotten, corrupt, cretinous reprobates who no longer have my interests at heart, with damn few exceptions.

In my fifty years I have seen “America” abandon the promises that people attempted to indoctrinate me with in my youth to me, mine, and many others. And I’m not going to go into that litany now, not the point.  Suffice it to say that I have seen “The State” rob people of their property, freedom, and lives; and betray those who sacrificed for it.  Frankly, I feel more “Patriotic Stirrings” for my beer making club.

This is why, in the whole Gay Marriage debate, my give a fuck is broke.

First, most the people agitating for it seems to not give a good God Damn about the myriad other freedoms that are lost; thus, I find it hard to take them seriously.  If they were defending a PRINCIPLE, I might.  Most of them are mewling sheep with “The Gubbmint should tell us what to do HERE!” and then, selectively outraged over this issue THERE.

Second, if you are a person who believes a slip of paper from a courthouse makes something sacred, I pity you.  I really do, I cannot even muster contempt.  Any “Marriage” vis-a-vis the state is a contract, which has a shelf life of that State’s ability or willingness to enforce it.  If civilization broke down tomorrow, what then?  What recourse would you have, other than the force you could muster, if your spouse decided to leave you, kick you out of the house, rob you blind and take the kids, or whatever?  It’s a piece of paper, and by itself it is the same stuff  that you wipe your ass with.

The only “worth” your “marriage” would have in such a hypothetical apocalypse is your commitment to each other.  It’s the only thing that means fuck all.  Worshipping and idolizing that “Mommy May I” from a courthouse – a pile of stacked bricks staffed with the “official gang” – is sad and pathetic, in the extreme. If I got a registered, “official” letter announcing that “Teh Thtate” no longer “recognized” my own marriage I might be annoyed that my tax money was spent on the paper, ink, and stamp;  And I might begrudge the time and money it would take to download NOLO forms, and fill out and file them; but other than that, my general response would be “Is that all you have, assholes? Pretty feeble.”

It’s something I don’t understand, I guess, is the eagerness of the gay sheep to run into the same sheep pen the straight sheep are trapped in.  Attend: Why are sheep penned?  So they can be fleeced, milked, and slaughtered.

Oh, by the way, while you were busy posting your trite little “=”signs, your Jesus pushed TPA/TPP through. Now watch the circus, Citizen.  Here – have a heel of bread, you dumbfuck.

I’m not “for”gay marriage because I’m not “for” straight marriage.  And I’m not opposed to it, either, because all people are begging for is “I DEMAND SOMETHING MEANINGLESS AND WORTHLESS!”  I’d object to giving you a dog turd because I’d have to get shit on my hands to give it to you.  This doesn’t even rise to that dignity.

EVERY state marriage is a mere civil union – whatever you call it.  It is a piece of paper, printed by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying NOTHING.  If your “marriage” is worth anything, you already have it. If it’s not, that paper does Jack and Shit.  The great self help gurus would tell you that you are looking to externals to validate yourself.  This means you need therapy.

That said – you want it?  *shrug* Whatevs.  I’m going to take you seriously – for the moment, at least pretend to – that you mean it when you say that “NOOOOOOBODY wants to make churches perform gay marriages! If you don’t want anything to do with it, then don’t!”  I will draw certain things to your attention: A photographer in NM who wanted nothing to do with it got persecuted for it.  A city in Kansas was or is trying to pass ordinaces to force churches to rent out their halls.  A church that declined to rent out their hall and have nothing to do with it got persecuted in NJ.  A Baker who wanted to have nothing to do with it via a cake got harassed recently.

These are not a separate issue – this is the EXPLICIT promise you are making – to leave people alone in exchange for them minding their own business. If you refuse to clean it up… well, you can’t call it a phobia if you give people an actual reason to be afraid.  And I won’t give a fuck how anyone chooses to resist it. No matter what the how is.

If you don’t agree to this deal, I’m against you.  E.O.D.

Now, as to the people  with their religious knickers in a twist…

Yeah, I get it that in every other place that same latter promise has been made, and broken.  And look what happened with the Indiana RFRA.  Emulate them.  You might narrow it – might be smarter to do so.  It’s going to be real hard for anyone to claim “We’re not trying to force anyone…” when they oppose bitterly laws that cement this.  This is like the guy who insists “We don’t NEED a contract.” No – when you hear that, you absolutely positively need that contract.

Second, as a man who was once married to a deeply closeted lesbian using me as a beard, you want this out in the daylight.

Third – civil marriage is a damn contract.  Let me cite canon 1091.2, which says marriages are invalid up to and including the fourth degree.  This means “First cousins.”  Now, you may not be Catholic, but bear with me.  Under church law, the church does not perform or recognize such marriages.  They are invalid.  In states where first cousins can legally marry, the church turns them away.  The church does not allow them to attend married couples retreats, as they are not married.

There is your “Secular Civil Union Marriage Contract Thingy.” Then there is “Holy Matrimony.” Stop confusing the  two.

This is an opportunity to get your shit together.  First stop being lazy, and move out of your Mistresses (The State’s) house. Step one would be to strike “By the power vested in me by the state of _______” from your ceremonies. FUCK THE STATE. Just FUCK them. You are marrying a couple by the authority vested in you from GOD.

Well, step one would be getting the flag out of the sanctuary, but that kind of goes hand in hand.

Step two would be to start taking your church marriages seriously and crack down – at least – on people getting divorced for any reasons other than abuse or adultery.

Marriage isn’t holy anymore because it is YOUR fault.  You got on the state tit, and got lazy.  You didn’t want to get into the messy business of “making judgments”and this is what you get.  Next time some woman decides she’s going to file for divorce because she feels “unfulfilled” or a husband abandons his wife for his secretary, I suggest you take action.  Even if it does mean you have an empty seat in the pew or a lighter collection plate.  Start making judgments.  Start taking sides.  Discipline your flock, and let the chips fall where they may. THAT IS YOUR JOB.  And you have failed. In a monumental fashion.  It’s time for an overhaul.

In that spirit, step three would be to tighten your canons and remind your congregations that a marriage performed in a church is the only valid marriage in church eyes.  Couples not so married are considered to be “Living in sin.”  Couples who refuse to do so, in the event of a divorce – well, sorry, you failed to get a real marriage.  We don’t get involved on secular contractual matters, we’re not a court of law.  They have zero problem with calling your blessing of Matrimony as “hocus pocus bullshit.” Back at them.  Christ came, in his words, to bring a sword.  Pick it up and smack a motherfucker with it and tell them to back the fuck off.

Draw.That. Line.  Boldface, 72 point type, great big quivering capital letters.  Remember the days when you would not do marriages to unbelievers?  Time to go back to it.  This will protect you legally as well. If you have a beautiful wedding chapel, make it clear that you’re only going to rent it to people that pass muster as –  at least – a Christian In Good Standing.  It’s very chic and trendy to be all ecumenical and shit, but, it’s time to grow a pair and tell the heterodox churches that bless gay marriage, “So sorry, but your denomination does not qualify.”  This can be illustrated in the fact that they do not understand what the sacrament of Holy Matrimony is about.

You have gotten So. Caught. Up. in the material that you have forgotten the spiritual.

While the snarkmasters of the left have smarmily said “Christianity has Pagan DNA” there is an element of truth to this.  Matrimony is, at the root, a fertility rite.  It is the union of two different things – yin and yang, masculine and feminine – into a whole.  Theologically it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to bestow this sacrament on two men or two women.  They cannot become one and bring forth new life from it, the only real creation power humanity has.  Blessing such a union makes as much sense as giving a woman a prostate exam, or fixing the exhaust manifold on your chair.  Go back to the basics and articulate this.

Stop letting unbelievers define you. Grow a spine.  And this is going to piss people off – so what?  Speak the truth as you see it.  Yes, a church marriage is the only real marriage.  Yes, this marriage is superior to that marriage.  They do not like you anyway, stop trying to please them.  Play the “Separation of Church and State, we don’t recognize your mere legal contract. Thanks for your input we will give it all the consideration it is due” card,  crumple, whoosh towards the trash can, plonk.

FUCK the state.  And fuck the heterodox.  You will have a better church without them.


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